Friday, July 25, 2014

The deep dark cloud

I've been feeling really depressed and down the past few days. I have a lot going on in my personal life and suffer with major depressive disorder..so a spell like this is not that uncommon for me. True clinical depression is not something that can be easily described to someone that has never experienced it for their self ...it's not as simple as just feeling sad or having a bad day..it's an all consuming deep dark cloud that covers your world.

For me there is often no specific trigger..it just seems to come and go..but when I am under any amount of extra stress it does tend to bubble to the surface more frequently..it's hard on me..but it's also hard on my friends and family..I lose interest in the world around me and find little enjoyment.

I've had people tell me before to just "snap out of it" or to "buck up".. I really wish that it were so simple..I wish that I could flip a switch and everything would magically be ok.. unfortunately that's not a real option so for now I just go through the motions of day to day life and wait to feel better.